I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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