I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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