I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
