Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize