kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So vagazzling was a success
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
