FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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