well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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