Me. At least after what I've been through.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
