you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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