Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
