whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
