We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
