This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
