How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
