The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
