Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
