but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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