wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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