...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
