I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
