Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
