So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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