Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
