that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
