She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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