if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
