he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just invented taco cereal.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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