i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize