I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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