I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
