The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
