This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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