Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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