But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
