Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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