Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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