I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
