Farmville is her only friend.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
