im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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