I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
