I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
