4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
