This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
