So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
