Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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