My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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