I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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