Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
