so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
