hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
