last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
