"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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