i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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