After last night, I could never be a politician.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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