I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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