i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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