They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
