I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
