do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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