just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Randomize
