i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
