You just made me feel so damn special
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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