Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
They have beer where we have blood.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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