I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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