Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Bring me that man meat
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
