What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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