Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
