So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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