You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Randomize
