my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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